soft rock star

breathe in

it sure gets fucking lonely back here, but the first two hours of work actually went by pretty smooth. 1 lead an hour works for me. for those of you that don't know, i am in a new sort of dept at work where i work specifically on one account that has the potential to bring in 10 grand a month. that may seem like small potatoes, but to a small company of about 30 employees that is fucking fantastic. that will pay for 4 of us to work on this full time for as long as we want. and if the commissions start coming in.... ooo daddy.

in other news, this new thing has me just confused. it makes my stomach hurt. he says baby steps and i guess i have to agree, but i am not used to that at all. i know that he doesn't want to be hurt, and i don't want to be hurt either, but this is going to drive me crazy. i hate it that i give myself away so easily, but i guess i always have. some of you know that all too well. i did open up to him a lot on thursday, i told him of some of my pain, i told him that i can give limitless joy. i told him that i want him to be happy regardless. i hope that he is. i know that his kisses make me happy. he already has me figured out to the point where he knows that as much as i play apathy that i can be one jealous bitch.

at least he knows that i like him.

now that's out of the way, now on to the hard part.

breathe out

shameless plug - my new favorite saturday thing i'm sure will be sirens of song radio. love it love it love it love it. i love me some whiny bitch music! go to the site and check it out!

nebulize

joan osborne - st. theresa