i didn't lie.

breathe in

so i spent my last few dollars on burger king. i know i shouldn't have. hell i shouldn't have gone out last night. tomorrow i'll be stuck at home with no money unless i go get the rapid refund stuff. or i can go to my father's and get my christmas present (woo hoo a crisp 100$ bill). i think thats what i will do. only thing is i have to walk like 8 million miles when i get up to the boonies there. the man still pisses me off. you would think that i am 27 years old and i would get over it and visit the dying old fuck every once in a while. well i learned hate from him very well and i can hold a grudge better than my evil old dead grandmother. remember that all you nasty tricks out there: i know who you are and i will have my revenge.

breathe out

its funny how things change, how the dynamics of any relationship, even a friendship, can distort with just the slightest touch. eyes that seemed so friendly a short time ago are now like a stranger's. its alright though i guess. humanity by nature are stubborn creatures and when something changes, even a little, our very essence is offended. for all of you that have gone away, for all of you that are strangers to me now, i miss you. even the fuckwads.

ventilate (FICTION)
to: rethlin@cde.net
from: number13@wilson.freeman.org

re: dreams

i had a dream last night. there was this room. the walls were black with like soot or some sort of black ichor. there was a strange orange light coming from a hallway to my left. there was a sound of machinery. and there was the sound of someone screaming.

so do you think it means anything?

to: number13@wilson.freeman.org
from: rethlin@cde.net

re: re: dreams

was the machinery like a heartbeat? just wondering

btw shelley called me today. psycho slut. still wants your number. how come after you fuck these chicks and never call them back they end up hounding me? its bad for my rep to have all that tuna leaving messages on my cel. check this:

www.subversiveelement.com

didn't you grow up around long island? just wondering.

to: rethlin@cde.net
from: number13@wilson.freeman.org

re: montauk

went to that link. that stuff about montauk sounds like all the crazy stuff me and derek did when we lived around there, like creeping into the base and stuff. we just went there to smoke pot though, and most of the bunkers weren't all concreted up. never heard of the beast bunker or any sort of project rainbow or any crap like that before.

had the dream again last night. i started to turn the corner. i think the light is a fire of some sort. reminded me of dante.

your friend jamie is hot. hook me up.

to: number13@wilson.freeman.org
from: renthlin@cde.net

re: jamie

she is such the ho. she'll outsuck a vaccuum i can tell you that. i taught her everything she knows after all. met her at a nails concert. i gave her your email this morning and told her that all you are about is a quick fuck and not to get too attached. they never listen tho.

call me tonight. i have to tell you something. in person.

to: renthlin@cde.net
from: number13@wilson.freeman.org

re: dreams

i tried calling you last night but you wouldn't pick up the phone. probably tricking with andre or some crap i assume. anyway, jamie came over, we had a good conversation. she's a cool girl.

she woke me up in the middle of the night, said i was talking in my sleep. did i do that in college? anyway, she said i was talking in some sort of code, saying like black sheep oh-five, come in lemon pie, over and over again. i think i had the dream again. i know i made it there. i made it to the machine but for the life of me i can't remember what i saw when i got there.

lemon pie. weird shit huh?

there is this new guy at work here. very clean cut, built, just your type. i don't know if he plays for your team, but if anything he is metro. he doesn't talk much but everytime i go out for a smoke he is in the hallway. he is goodlooking, but he has this weird glare whenever i walk by, sorta creepy. you like the creepy ones though, so i'll try to hook you up.

to: renthlin@cde.net
from number13@wilson.freeman.org

re: are you alive?

that guy asked me to coffee. i told him i didn't swing that way but he said it wasn't like that. he said he needed to talk to me about shelley. i told him i would get back to him. then he just happened to show up at frank's when i went in for drinks with jamie last night. and get this, he ordered a shot called lemon pie for us. he isn't that creepy i guess. his name is jason. he toasted really weird though. he said "lemon pie we're coming through, say hail mary!" and smiled this wicked smile. i must have drunk a lot because i woke up at 3 am and jason was sneaking out of my house. jamie was sprawled out on top of me smelling like a brewery and i felt like a cat shit in my mouth. at least i had all my clothes on.

you need to call me. what ever shall i do without my pet homo?

to: number13@wilson.freeman.org
from: MAILERDAEMON@wilson.freeman.org

I'm afraid I wasn't able to deliver your message to the following
addresses. renthlin@cde.net
This is a permanent error.

to: number13@wilson.freeman.org
from: number0@wilson.freeman.org

you never should have done that
i tried to warn you. lemon pie coming through.
the machine has a heartbeat. don't tell gabriel. he doesn't like the truth. jason is the truth. raphael is the truth. vyvyan is the truth. remember me. we will be in contact. run now.

flight 150, british airways, tonight. be on board. black sheep 05 out

i tried to warn you. lemon pie coming through.
i tried to warn you. lemon pie coming through.
i tried to warn you. lemon pie coming through.
i tried to warn you. lemon pie coming through.
i tried to warn you. lemon pie coming through.
i tried to warn you. lemon pie coming through.
i tried to warn you. lemon pie coming through.
i tried to warn you. lemon pie coming through.
i tried to warn you. lemon pie coming through.
i tried to warn you. lemon pie coming through.
i tried to warn you. lemon pie coming through.
i tried to warn you. lemon pie coming through.

nebulize

gave up - nine inch nails