revoloutions of ruin

breathe in

flipping through the middle section of only revoloutions today. for those of you who haven't heard of this wicked creation or haven't heard enough, its a 'novel' that tells a story from two perspectives, written in a disjointed verse, and that every 8 pages you turn the book upside down and read the other side of the story. its a love story basically, cataclysmic and raw with all the fire of two teenagers out to destroy the world, or create one of their own.

regardless, i love the book.

i want to feel that fire again, and i alluded to that in my last post.

sometimes i go through these apathetic phases. i become cruel and distant to the ones i love and enigmatic and untouchable to those that i possibly could. maybe its this time of year, with my years old curses of tim and dave come to kill my emotions just as they did so long ago. the only passions are in the novels i read or in the words that i write, or the melodramitc crazy soap that i can't believe i watch every day but do it anyway because its just too damn fun.

sam says i will never leave you, reflected in hailey's eyes at one point. i want that.

i do think its that time of year, the end of the cycle where all of us tend to step back and take a look at ourselves and our 12 months of missteps and mistakes. its not like i couldn't walk 3 blocks and get laid fantastically, or ask one of about 5 people i know that would be interested to go on a 'date' tomorrow afternoon. i just miss passion. i write about it on my other blog in the form of fractured fables and apocalyptic prose in my fiction, or in the scathing commentary of my opinions i post there too.

another friend says it best. i'm a passionate person with nothing to be passionate about right now.

breathe out

fiction... soon... grrr.....

nebulize

skin - trashed