Thursday, December 28, 2006

3 years

breathe in

wild mood swings. listened to this song and just, genuinely, started crying.



it might be the snow. it might be that time of the month. but it's sad.

i've been thinking about him lately. stupid, i know. something that is so historically and fundamentally wrong shouldn't be lingering, especially nearly 3 years after the last episode. and i still walk down the street, see him riding in cars, staring through shaded windows, sitting in darkened shadows.

i know now that its not him that i want, not that collection of knives and briars that cut so deep and nestled under my skin for the past thirty millenia. i know that i just long for that feeling of wonder and warmth that for just a moment made me bright and ascendant. i know i am just afraid that never again will i be that whole.

not even whiskey is making me feel better.

breathe out

the politics of snow are interesting. the politics of who benefits and who loses, the politics of sleeping smiles and empty stares.

politics is empty.

nebulize

pink - who knew

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Have another shot of whiskey honey. It makes you feel better.