polar bears made sense to me

breathe in

in the event that i was wronged....he deals...he does....and i have fucking photos


in the event the he was wronged.... you need to pick them better



nebulize

garbage - why do you love me

i think i fell in a bed of roses

ventilate

the red light pulsed a silent heartbeat outside the window, a neon 'u' screaming its death song among the joy of the other silently buzzing words and pictures that lined the avenue. he smiled, and continued to put his pants on, one leg at a time.

his thoughts went over the past few days, the past few years. he saw her and him and we and she and he and almost christ. almost.

a roach traced its way along the floorboards, leaving cryptograms of footprints in the ages old dust. she stirred, her breathing a clockwork of wheezes and sighs. he slowly walked to the window, peering through the bars and the mildew. he saw whores and johns, a wide array of dead poets, and the ones that called themselves muties. he saw those with the marks of st. alaric on their foreheads, wandering fools stained with the scent of commerce and filth. he saw the consulate, their iron masks hiding the sweat stained brows and their doubtful eyes. and the drums. of course he heard the drums.

he saw a light in a tower across the trees to the east. he knew he was waiting with his liquor and his wit. somewhere staring back at him across the dark expanse red eyes waited. the knife grew a hot silver when he spoke his name under his breath.

next time it will be a bed of roses, her name a thousand words of glory. next time it won't be like this.

sickening sighs and sweet overtures of you

breathe in

i sometimes fall behind. i sometimes think that this can be nothing more than anything else and i fall. i think that i can come back and try. i think and i fall and i dimly remember that none of this is quite what i had planned.

sounds like a bunch of emo shit but it is what's on my mind right now.

breathe out

i don't do drugs. ok a little. ok used to be a lot but still i don't do them anymore. that much.

i think that when a drug dealer accuses you of stealing from him that he doesn't trust you. just a thought.

nebulize

madonna - secret

spinning all on a blade of grass

breathe in

still evil. ever so still evil.

i think i have a cold. fucking june and i have a cold. its this congestion in the back of my throat, this wicked evil cough that i think i got from the dogs no less. dumb ass sick dogs.

still looking for a job. still looking for some recognition. still looking damnit.

as it happens update! - my dumbass roommate was supposed to be at work at 7:30 this morning and stayed at a tricks hotel room and just now got home! he says nothing happened, but lets wait until the beer wears off to make that judgement.

sure i have been a hooker. i have played tonsil hockey with about 5 people in the last 5 months. i think that is a conservative number compared to my former escapades. but he has done the same to 5 people in probably the last 5 days and feels no shame at all. and wonders why his ' sinuses' act up all the time. wonders why his legs hurt. its cause your a fucking whore and you probably got me sick in the first place and your legs are up in the air all the time bottom boy. good jesus.

i have been thinking a lot of the ones that have ran away lately, the ones that i pushed away. i know, its sooo hard to tell by the posts.

for once in my life i want to settle down. i want that white picket fence blah crap. i don't want to be in pain anymore. i don't want to be alone.

breathe out

so many things. i neglect to post and so many things have happened. a woman murdered by a latent homosexual in aruba. a pedophile acquitted. hell, trista even got kicked off of dancing with the stars. what is this world coming to?

don't think that guy in aruba wasn't a mo. he had it written all over him. he was european for chrissake, and he had profiles on the internet in some not so straight places. unless you're a total noob you know you don't put nekkid pics of yourself on hotornot type sites without wanting the deep dickin. its one of newton's laws i think.

mj thinks he got away with it again. i don't think that his career will recover in the us at all tho. but finally my theory has some backing. he doesn't molest those children, he sucks their blood. i was at ww the other day and i just thought of the best concept. mj is a nos who has a desire for the blood of pubescent boys. thats his doppelganger that goes out in the sun. its all right there in the rules. its possible.

nebulize

esthero- song for holly

i can't see a tower and a triangle, but damn do i see stars

breathe in

i went on gay.com tonight just to see how far a former legitimate chat site has sunk into the depths of hookup hell. it was pretty far. i had a great friend ask me if i would let him service me. another guy, who by the way wouldn't give me the time of day at the bar, tell me that he saw me tonight and wants to fuck my sweet ass.

men.

just thought i would give a late night shout out to all you peeps who aren't looking for a quick fuck.

if i want one of those i can go to charlie's.

nebulize

lauren christy - boomerang bang

creating darkness from a spoonful of wonder

breathe in

this has been one of the most stressful weeks of my life. and i wasn't even working.

yes i lost my job. it was bound to happen. hell it needed to happen. they didn't have to be such assholes about it. but just to say that i put it out for the whole world to know....

CONTACT ONE CALL CENTER CAN LICK MY NUTS. BRIAN MCDONOUGH CAN TAKE HIS GLASS EYE AND GIVE HIMSELF A RECTAL EXAM WITH IT. RANDI MERRILL CAN GIVE BIRTH TO THE ANTICHRIST.

and that makes me happy. that's the wonderful thing about blogs. i can write anything i damn well want and no one can do shit to me.

i hope they rot in hell.

on a brighter note, i think i already have another job. 4 days isn't that bad i don't think. i did work my tail off tho.

breathe out

jacko goes to jury. i wish i wrote headlines for such lofty media sources like time, newsweek and the godlike entertainment tonight. the verdict in this case will once again disillusion the western world, while fueling the flames of hatred from our eastern counterparts. we can't even punish our own criminals. hell we can't even define what is a criminal act anymore.

things were easier when you went to jail for looking funny and you had to fuck your honey through a hole in a sheet.

nebulize

sarah mclaughlin- fallen