Monday, January 30, 2006

i ate her calf muscle and all i got was a blood bourne disease

breathe in

i think that i've said this before, but i will say it again. i wouldn't have a job without the existence of stupid people. of course at the same time, a lot of stupid people wouldn't have jobs if it wasn't for the low expectations and the merciless bottom line of employers like mine.

i never said what i did was lofty and/or intellectual.

breathe out

i find myself all kinds of interested in this show on cannibalism on the history channel right now. and right before i was watching the musical version of reefer madness.

coincidence? i think not.

Sunday, January 29, 2006

skin scarred and sweetly singing sin

breathe in

there was this t shirt i always wanted to buy. it had the profile of some dude with liberty spikes and underneath it said 'i used to be punk once'. i really liked it, should have gotten it. but no i had to get the bugfucker shirt, or the other one that said satan instead of pepsi. or even that ghastly afro shirt that i never even put on once.
an old friend told me a while back that i'll always be punk, because punk doesn't mean having leopard spots in your hair or wearing a dog collar, it doesn't mean listening to tdk or tlpd, it means denial of conformist reality, it means a slighty skewered kaleidescopic paradigm shift.
it means i never really had to have liberty spikes.
case and point, some homo wanna be a the off key bar singing beasties with liberty spikes is not punk. he probably played football in high school.

breathe out

i came within 10 feet of a police officer tonight. it made my stomach churn.

nebulize

garbage - the boys wanna fight

*sigh*

Saturday, January 14, 2006

life and death on the seventh cornice


breathe in

i think when i have a pic post, cause i can do that now, i'll follow my theme by having it be a sigh.

like *sigh*

so....

*sigh*

fraud and the upside down benefits

breathe in

i've decided that it doesn't really pay to bitch about work. sure, to most of us work is the thing that keeps our belly's full and our mouths full of vodka, but after you put in your 8 hours or so it should be the end. so then why do i go out with work friends and proceed to talk about work for about 13 drinks? it just doesn't make sense. of course, nothing good ever comes of getting that drunk with work friends. somehow somebody's mouth ends up where it shouldn't, or a hand or some other body part i don't even know the name for.

so i won't talk about work. although lately going out has been a lot of work.

breathe out

i find that since i got out of my last situation that there is a myriad of others that seem to be lying at my feet waiting to be picked up. its too easy to fall into addiction, avarice, sloth and any number of mortal sins after your soul has been wiped clean by late night contemplation and riding the bus with winos at midnight. sure, my purity hasn't returned, although i have thought about getting that surgery that will replace your hymen, but i feel and have felt for the past few weeks that in a sense i have been cleansed. now i just need to clean my room and we'll be golden baby.

breathe in

i need to go see a concert. live music. something. anyone know of something hot to do next friday night let me know.

nebulize

garbage - metal heart

Saturday, January 07, 2006

straight, never forward

breathe in

its been a while friends. i can be shy if i want to. i miss you all. and short sentances usually hide the truth so its all fun.

i need to bite my tongue every time he talks about rent. you know who. that jobless thing that doesn't realize that i've paid good money to live here. that thing that makes me cringe.

WHO ARE YOU????

its alright really. i just smile and nod and hope that the next life is better than this. hope that maybe one day i fall and no one catches me and sweet oblivion gives me a kiss and a hug and says its gonna be ok...

breathe out

tequila mockingbird has the best les singer in 8 million years. its true... thirty helens agree.

nebulize

my chemical romance - helena

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

thirty and four

ventilate

'i assure you, sir, the offices are quite busy this season, as you may well assume. the presence may not be available for weeks, even months.' the paige's voice trembled as he spoke, the wavering sounds echoed by clumsy footsteps on ages old brittle tile. ' i have strict orders, sir, i hope you know. i - i can't let you pass without the proper paperwork.'

jason paid the boy no mind, his sights instead favoring the ornately carved golden doors at the end of the immense seeming hallway. the enormity of the gallery, as is every other in the labyrinthine passages of the complex, was an illusion laid out by some long forgotten architect, buried by centuries and holy conspiracy. in actuality, it was a mere hundred steps, maybe less. the distance, and the appearance thereof, were not important. in this world the numbers and meters of men were as uncertain as mortality, as irregular as the far-flung home of a spattered drop of blood. time had taken its rightful throne over the rebellious nature of space and under its rule all the integral constants had become warped and malleable. and then there was the deception, and inherent inaction, that the grigori had propogated, but that is another story.

the paige, nevertheless, musters the last of his loyalty and steps in front a mere ten paces away from the door. 'i am afraid, sir, that this as far as you shall go.' from his right side, jason draws something that could be a blade, a revolver or even a stun stick. to a killers eye it could be many different things, but in truth the end result is all that really matters.

there was a flash of light, a smell of lillies, then nothing. as the body sank to the floor the paige let out one last sigh, as if contented by a tall glass of water, and then was blissfully silent.

jason opened the doors.

Sunday, January 01, 2006

and then there is me

breathe in

and then there is me. something small and something glorious. but it's still just me.


happiness to those that find it and unhappiness to those that don't.