letters from ellie

ventilate

and it was so.

rotten.

he always thought that i couldn't tell the difference. hell, he thought i couldn't make a contraction. ha to him.

i sit and i drink. it's sort of funny that way. i stopped drinking a long time ago when he put me here. i was being punished and felt i shouldn't feel any euphoria, even the fleeting one that comes with brief (oh so brief) intoxication. that ended quickly. then i started to drink. and i flew.

it flew in the sense that birds fly south. it flew in the sense the piss goes in the wind. it flew. fleeting just doesn't fit it. i got it, it went away, and not because of nature, but because of need.

every time i write you i end up talking about something else. seems funny. all i want to do is see how you are. hope you are well. i know you don't wish me as much.

and it ends again. she is at the door. i hope you are well.