Tuesday, May 18, 2010

this is easy

ventilate


i keep pictures of my pain in the drawer next to me. it fuels my obsession. it fuels my grief.

but what is grief? it"s a secondary emotion to selfish loathing in my opinion.

what?

what did you say?

my grief is different?

listen little girl i found your grief so delightful in that i could feel and taste it and face it and oh my word touch it. i could bring it down in and outside of the depravities of skin and silk and what you called evil and good. i could do a lot, with your grief.

there is a shotgun, that you brought here, leveled to your head. it's not my hand that guides it. this is the spirit of all of you have ever done. all you ever will be. this is the condemnation of a thousand years of trying to right this wrong and the failure it has brought weighing down on your temple. just as a circular barrel that needs release.

all i ask is that you call off your lackeys. there is teth, he is a darling. if jason gets him he is done. then there is ariel. you don't know her though do you? she is the one with teth, the one that took him out of the underground to the northern tower. the pawn.

you didn't expect her?

don't wimper, it will only make it hurt more.

i only let them live when they saw me to let you know that i cared. and i do care, as much as this hurts. i have to show you what the knife can do to a person like me, or like you.

go to sleep, we will talk more tomorrow.

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