did you ever wonder why old fashioned's are made with bitters?

breathe in

i always did. i always wondered why anyone would mix perfectly
good bourbon with a substance that engages a gag reflex
in much of the population. regardless, during the years
i spent in the bar industry, i still would see it lauded as
a classic cocktail appreciated by true connoisseurs of
spirits and wino's everywhere. it was also interesting
to notice that anyone who ordered the drink usually wasn't
a day under 40, which leads to my next point. the mutual consensus
of anyone in my peer group who tried the concoction was like
watching rosie o'donnell fuck julian macmahon on
nip/tuck, revulsion.

comparatively most modern drinks, those that seem to be
the most popular among people in my age group, usually have
less of an obvious alcoholic taste and more artificial
or fruity flavorings(i.e. juices, soft drinks, energy
drinks etc.) even the old standard of beer has evolved,
most popular american beers having toned down the flavor
of the hops in favor of a smoother, less bitter flavor. (this
i disagree on. give me a pale ale any day over that bar tap
mass produced american swill.)

so, you may ask, why post something like this in the rants
and raves section, when you could have posted in the general
section or something like that.

and so begins the rant.

i realize that our gay forefathers, those that opened the
door for the newer generations, mine in particular, to
actually feel somewhat safe in coming to terms with their
sexuality, fought a hard struggle. they struggled for
acceptance, for respect, and for equality. some died,
some were sacrificed, some even lost their souls in the
mix and i, as well as many others, are forever grateful.

i just ask that you please stop with the bitter crap.

most of the people that write articles, questions, and
comments on the magazine pages just at a quick glance seem
to be over 40. i have no problem with most of them and have
found some insightful and amusing things. i have a problem
with the fact that a few of these frequent posters have now
lumped the younger generation as represented on this site
as a bunch of narcissistic sex obsessed materialists that
only care about cock size, body hair, and how many times
they went to the gym this week. you also glorify yourself
with holier than thou morality editorials which condemn
people for attempting to ask a simple question in order
to better understand the attitudes shared by this community.
i have seen several posts that push envelopes of morality
and could spark intelligent discussion but then are beat
down by bitter queen in the corner screaming accusations
of grotesque and idiocy. the impression given, as i see
it as being a relative newcomer, is that unless i devise
a question or a post that relates to something within a narrow
range of topics that seems to center around asking sage
advice from the wizened elders of the FRIENDS
OF DOROTHY foundation about whether i should
dump my boyfriend or that it is anathema and subject to all
manner of flames just short of the (my personal favorite)
horribly fashionable pNw3d!!!!.

now i don't expect you to like everything that i write,
and intentionally i do mean some of my opinions that i post
here and on other places around the net and in the world around
to flat out piss people off, but that does not give you license
to scream out your self-given geriatric authority from
the rooftops. every message posted on this system, and
those posting them, deserve the right to post and be heard
regardless of the vulgarity or simplicity of their sentiments
or opinions.

so please refrain from comments like the following:
'you must be one of those guys'
how do you know? you really can't make a judgment based
on 2 sentences of someone who's only persona you know
from a shrunken face pic and a headless torso.
'obviously you don't know
what you are talking about'
maybe thats why they posted in the first place. next time
educate before you insult.
'being that i am 300 years old let
me tell you
what i think'
your age doesn't matter. in all honesty that hot 21
year old you jacked off to in the chat room last night could
be 75 and have 4 small children tied up in his closet and is
looking for an accomplice. when you preface an opinion
like that all you do is make a feeble attempt to add hollow
weight to what ultimately, in my mind, becomes a hollow
statement.

now, before the shovels and torches and garden hos come
out and the mob starts to chant 'sink the psycho',
i don't mean this for everyone, just the few people
that i have seen post time after time with scathing remarks
and gross assumptions that often have been unwarranted
and unwanted. does that mean that i will block their comments?
hell no! opposition makes life interesting. it means that
i will use their bitterness induced ignorance as a weapon
against them. point out that the same man that is complaining
about how shallow someone is is the same person begging
to get a big cock up his ass, minimum 7", on his profile,
followed by the words 'no fats or femmes'.

in a world that is constantly changing and growing, growing
smaller in some cases, we should respect anything that
anyone takes the time to sit and put into text regardless
of how offensive, incorrect, asinine, or vulgar and use
it as an opportunity to grow ourselves or help another do
the same.

the point? swallow the bitters yourself, pretend like
you like it, and join the party. the bar is out of bitters
and a twist of lime really doesn't do anything to the
flavor, other than make it look pretty. find a new vice,
a new flavor, and come and join the party.

this bar doesn't make a drink called old fashioned
anymore

crawling through windowells

breathe in

so today i fought the good fight, the blood of my enemies on my hands and lips as i strode victoriously home through the winter chill, a smile on my face.

actually it was cold and my face had frozen into a smile resembling that creepy botox cat lady in new york.

sure, i was sent home from work for playing hookey yesterday, a days suspension my punishment for missing a day of work when i haven't even had so much of a black mark on my record. well, at least not for the past 4 months.

now, for those of you who are unindoctrinated in the fine art of the mental health day, let me give you some pointers. i call it

THE ROVE METHOD

1. the war on terror rule : when making up an excuse, make sure it is plausible but hard to authenticate. things like 'my grandmother died' can be researched by a vengeful coworker or nasty employer in only a matter of minutes online and can potentially cost you your job if they are proven to be false. for example, my excuse was a car accident on the way to work. yesterday i got a flat tire, then the spare blew out as well. sure i live within walking distance but it was butt cold. now that is technically a car accident, i just happened to add to the implication that there was another car involved by my omission of the circumstances behind the accident, which also leads to the next point.

2. the bush administration rule: do not go into detail about the circumstances unless asked, and even then be as vague and ambiguous as possible. to fix the dead grandmother problem above usually a simple change of syntax can cover your ass (i.e. dead grandmother becomes a death in the family). in my situation, i said it happened 5 minutes away from work, which is actually how long it takes to drive to work from my house so technically i gave up the location, but at the same time that gives me a good 12 block radius to work with in case questions come up later.

3. the wmd conspiracy rule: have an unrelated third party involved who can corraborrate your story while also absolving you of any wrongdoing. by using a 'patsy' unknown to your employer or co-workers as a witness there is an added level of credibility, yet still unverifiable by your potentional detractors and accusers. through, once again, ambiguous language, i suddenly wasn't the driver during said accident, but my roommate was. therefore any police involvement or documentation no longer is my responsibility and legally i have no right to take that paperwork to work to 'prove' my story. and in my situation i can always say that my roommate handed over the paperwork to their insurance company and didn't make copies.

and finally...

4. the rumsfeld rule: if even after following the preceding methods there still appears to be doubt on your intended audience DENY DENY DENY. Create a cloud of confusion supported by unrelated subjects and subtle jabs at their moral character that turns them from the agressor to the defender. use subtext to poke at their moral character, to capitalize on their fears and to ultimately cast enough doubt to make them even question why they were questioning you in the first place. this tactic can should only be used as a last resort for it requires a lot of follow up and makes your actual transgression appear paltry if your true intentions are uncovered.

hope that helps any potential truants in the audience.

questions? comments?

take it up with my press secretary.

proud to be without a color

breathe in

all over the news, all over the television, all over the streets, all i saw was pink. pink scarves, pink shirts, pink socks, pink wigs. and gay pride was months ago.

today was the race for the cure here in the mile high city, a festival of estrogen and self-appreciation for a select community of the downtrodden similar in celebration to the cinco de mayo festival, oktoberfest, the american idol tryouts, and, dare i say, gay pride. when a group of people, no matter how good their intentions, choose to market themselves as icons of supreme do-good-ness, somehow it just seems to sicken and sadden me.

yes, breast cancer is a horrible and fucked up thing, ruining families, communities, and individual lives to boot. we all understand that. and yes, we know that it's a battle best fought with donations and fund raisers, such as the traffic stopping fuck up i saw today. i guess what really gets me are just a few things. where was the non-stop local coverage of aidswalk? where were the legions of reporters at the pride festival? where was the coverage for the stem cell rally at the capital a few weeks ago? where, in fact, is the testicular cancer walk, or the prostate cancer walk, or the 'there are 14 homeless people dying if not dead under any random viaduct next to the platte river' walk. what it all amounts to, to me, is just a bunch of over-educated and boastful career housewives striving desperately to show that somehow in the big scheme of things that they make a difference.

and it pisses me off.

i recognize that breast cancer is a horrible terrible fucked up thing, but i also realize that most of these people are people that are well off enough to pay for their treatments, for their diagnosis, when i have know people with hep c to quietly rot in the alley because of unpaid medical bills.

if everyone that walked today walked up to their nearest shelter, their nearest blood bank, their nearest homeless center, maybe then i would think better of this.

of course this comes from me, who doesn't do anything. at least i don't pretend i'm good. after all evil people usually are just ineffectual and harmless. and i intend to stay that way.

breathe out

i should start doing this more again... makes me feel better.... now i'm ready to tie one on... muhahaha...

nebulize

skunk anansie - glorious pop song

three days of smiling silence

breathe in

it's already fucking september. another year has flown by and nothing has changed. i had my spring romance. i had my summer fling. i lost a friend. i gained a few pounds.

last year at this time were the last days of disco, albeit in my mind everything was ok. everything changed the last week of september last year, and i should have used that opportunity to improve myself, to improve others. but i didn't. i went back in to the same routine of deception and degeneration.

at least my pants still fit.

breathe out

as quoted from podiatry.com:

'Prevention is the best defense against gout. Medication (e.g., small doses of NSAIDs, colchicine, allopurinol [Zyloprim®], probenecid) may prevent continued accumulation of uric acid in the joints and further attacks. Avoiding alcohol and rich foods that are high in purine (e.g., scallops, sardines, red meat, sweetbreads, gravy, cream sauces) also may help to prevent the condition.'

no i don't have the gout. but i know someone who does.

everywhere i go i see a cycle of alcohol and alcoholism, of lies and lethargy. i guess half of the disease is motivated by fear. the other half, in my mind, is motivated by sloth. i do believe it's a disease, i don't believe that it's incurable. the cure, in my mind, is support, is creating a better self image, is to shift your priorities to something other than where your next drink is coming from. you don't need aa to do it. you don't need a therapist to do it. you need a realization that you are responsible for your own actions, and you need to admit that you have a problem.

sounds a little preachy, huh?

now if i could only say it, and if others would back me up.

nebulize

tori - hotel

superficial smiles and something dirty

breathe in

when you look in someones eyes and know that it was supposed to be you.... and you know that they are going home with someone much hotter and well.... more equipped.... what do you do? you smile and blame it on the weather. you blame it on circumstance..

i just blame it on me.

i think clive barker said it best.... its just flesh.

nebulize

the cardigans - my favourite game